COCKBLOCKERS: EDELGARD, GRUNE, SHIRAISHI

[fullthottle]

COCKBLOCKER On Monday afternoon, all three of their clamshells will ping! from wherever they have it. Should they pick it up to see what all the fuss is about, they will realize that their RULEBOOK app has updated once again. There's one more rule in their list now, though everything on this page remains unreadable to others... The new rule is: 6. You must remember that you SHARE A COMMON GOAL. The notification will pop up once again -- guess updates are just like this! WEE 🚨 OOO 🚨 WEE 🚨 OOO HEY SLUTS ARE YOU READY TO GET UP OFF YOUR LIL 🍑 ASS 🍑 AND BLOCK 🚫🚫🚫 SOME COCKS 🐓🐓🐓 ? ? ? 🍆💦 🍆💦 🍆💦 YOU ARE THE 👮 FUN 👮 POLICE 👮 AND YOU'RE HERE TO RAIN ☂️ ☂️ ☂️ ON SOME PARADES !!!! UP AND AT 'EM TO MEET THE B̴̨̃ͩ̈́ͬͨ̕I͋͐ͫ͘͘Gͪ͐͗̓̓̃́̚G̴̀̓E͛́̀S͂̃͂͐͌̽̓̔T̢̓̊̎͑̐ ̷̴̃́H̓ͨ̒́͘Ỏ̏͗̋͑ͮͯ̌ ̨̊̎̅ͫ̊͢O͛ͯͣ̌̈́̋ͣ̀͝F͋̄̚͞͝ ̴̔̉̍͟A̴̾L̨̂̊̔̀L̍ͦ͆̏̚ As usual, they will be brought to a familiar meeting place with a familiar host -- but this time, something is different. This time they'll realize quickly that they are no longer alone... FULL NAVIGATION. locations ⯅ statuses ⯅ ic profiles ⯅ ic rulebook ⯅ thot report ⯅ audiences gift shop ⯅ murder proposals ⯅ private conversations ⯅ weekly curfew

Comments

TALK TO POLLY

[yaaaasss]

[Polly is waiting for them all by sitting on the counter by the sinks. She lights up as they all walk in, looking pleased as punch.]

Yes, yes! You guys finally found each other. Okay, now we're really in business. Hit me with your questions, babes!

[hegemonstrous]

[God.]

Any progress on my question last week? What becomes of a demon if it’s host is [Pausing] cockblocked?

And if not, may I request a task in exchange for the information? It was suggested to me this was an option.

[yaaaasss]

All kinds of progress, boo!

[Polly looks stoked.]

So, like. Now that you guys have powered up? Your exorcism protection is going to do exactly what you want it to. If you protect the person who got possessed, they're not gonna get swallowed up by the summoning circle, but that demon is still going to get super dead, or uh, super exorcised, as long as whoever's doing it doesn't let them go by mistake.

Before, it was just going to, you know, not put them into that circle at all, to give you guys more time to find a way to get the demon outta there without killing the host.

[hegemonstrous]

Ah! What excellent news! Thank you, Polly. That’s very helpful.

[yaaaasss]

I've got even better news for you guys, too. Have you checked out the new rule in your rulebook? The thing about sharing a common goal?

[hegemonstrous]

Oh! Yes! Did that mean something specific?

[She just thought that meant the real cockblock was the friends they made.]

[yaaaasss]

If you guys all pick the same person, and it's whoever was possessed? You'll fuck the demon right out of them, sexy exorcism style.

It's a sexorcism!

[hegemonstrous]

I.

[Just going to. Consider this for a moment.]

I see! Well, then!

[yaaaasss]

Yeah!

Fuck those demons up for me, okay?

[is this her petty revenge for the demons killing her instead of fucking her?







PROBABLY.]

[hegemonstrous]

Gladly. This is quite excellent news. Thank you, Polly.

[felinguistic]

Was there something stopping us before? Other than not knowing we had roles.

[ ... ]

A question -- the people I'm protecting, and the wording. "One of your own" has some ambiguity to it. If they're attacked by a demon, that counts as being an attack from "one of your own", yes?

[yaaaasss]

You guys are stronger together! For exaaaample. Your thing before would have turned the tables on whoever was going after whoever you protected, but like, the would-be killer would've died instead.

But now that you've found each other, your magic dick is way better. If someone decides they want to go all vigilante justice on the ass of whoever you're protecting? They'll totally forget about their plans! No victim, no killer, no execution. It'll make it way easier to pin down whoever the demon is, too, 'cause there won't be any extra evidence getting mixed up in there!

...and, nah. Once someone's possessed by a demon, it's like... you know. The demon isn't one of you guys. That's what her [she thumbs over at Grune] magic vag is for. You can keep people who paint targets on themselves by making wild accusations safe.

[felinguistic]

I see. Humans are pretty good at taking matters into their own hands.

[ he's thoughtful for a moment. how many times did he just hear the words magic dick and magic vag it's kinda cursed. ]

That could change things for this week.

...

How long have you been waiting for this moment anyway? Since we got the powers?

[yaaaasss]

[it's super cursed]

SO LONG. I wanted to tell you guys, but that's like, interference? Well, more interference than helping you cockblock the demons is. And if I get myself knocked out of existence for interfering, I can't help you guys, sooooo...!

[felinguistic]

The rules are pretty strict here, aren't they. According to our newer friend over there, she took on the role when the young girl was killed. I take it that means our roles are passed on if we die?

[yaaaasss]

Looks that way, buuuuuuut.

If you wanna keep your powered-up... uh, powers. Try not to die? 'Cause then the other two would have to track down your replacement, and until they did, you'd all be back to the old way of doing things.

[...]

Also you're way hotter alive, no offense.

[felinguistic]

So, protect everyone as smartly as we back, but also try not to die and mess everything up n the process.

[ simples. ]

I prefer being alive, personally. No worries there.

[yaaaasss]

Yeah, you've got this! You're not the screwup type.

[felinguistic]

[ joke's on you, shiraishi isn't but i am. HAHA! ]

Hopefully not.

[hegemonstrous]

[...Lol. Just going to jump in here since Polly is calling her out like that.]

We’re still constrained by the need for the person chosen to be unaware of our plans though, aren’t we?

In this case, it doesn’t matter. I can protect myself from any human who would target me.

[yaaaasss]

Right, there's that. But, like, some people here are...

[how does she phrase this delicately? oh right, she can't]

Waaaaay more murder happy than they like to act? So ... backup plans, you know? His dick can keep people like you safe. Everybody wins!

[hegemonstrous]

It’s not that I don’t think someone might try to murder me. It’s simply that I’m confident that without demonic strength, I could beat them. Or at the least, cause them enough trouble that it isn’t worth their while.

It seems pointless anyway, since there’s no way I wouldn’t know thatwas Shiraishi’s motive for trying to sleep with me.

[yaaaasss]

You can suspect it all you want, boo. But like, you won't really know for sure. Maybe he got down and dirty with someone else before you and just fell prey to your feminine wiles! Maybe he waited until the veeeeery end of the week to bang anyone 'cause he wanted to keep you safe.

As long as he doesn't tell you and there's that teeny tiny bit of doubt, you should be fine.

[hegemonstrous]

Oh. I didn’t realize - so we can still choose someone who suspects, so long as we don’t tip our hand outright.

[yaaaasss]

Yeah. If they know for sure that's what you're up to - zzzip! Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

But if they don't know, then you're good. It's a matter of how certain they are, if there's any doubt in their minds. Kinda like how you guys can get away with sharing some stuff as long as people don't realize you have a role because of what you say. If you can get them to think you know shit 'cause someone else told you, you're good, you know?