COCKBLOCKERS: EDELGARD, GRUNE, SHIRAISHI

[fullthottle]

COCKBLOCKER On Monday afternoon, all three of their clamshells will ping! from wherever they have it. Should they pick it up to see what all the fuss is about, they will realize that their RULEBOOK app has updated once again. There's one more rule in their list now, though everything on this page remains unreadable to others... The new rule is: 6. You must remember that you SHARE A COMMON GOAL. The notification will pop up once again -- guess updates are just like this! WEE 🚨 OOO 🚨 WEE 🚨 OOO HEY SLUTS ARE YOU READY TO GET UP OFF YOUR LIL 🍑 ASS 🍑 AND BLOCK 🚫🚫🚫 SOME COCKS 🐓🐓🐓 ? ? ? 🍆💦 🍆💦 🍆💦 YOU ARE THE 👮 FUN 👮 POLICE 👮 AND YOU'RE HERE TO RAIN ☂️ ☂️ ☂️ ON SOME PARADES !!!! UP AND AT 'EM TO MEET THE B̴̨̃ͩ̈́ͬͨ̕I͋͐ͫ͘͘Gͪ͐͗̓̓̃́̚G̴̀̓E͛́̀S͂̃͂͐͌̽̓̔T̢̓̊̎͑̐ ̷̴̃́H̓ͨ̒́͘Ỏ̏͗̋͑ͮͯ̌ ̨̊̎̅ͫ̊͢O͛ͯͣ̌̈́̋ͣ̀͝F͋̄̚͞͝ ̴̔̉̍͟A̴̾L̨̂̊̔̀L̍ͦ͆̏̚ As usual, they will be brought to a familiar meeting place with a familiar host -- but this time, something is different. This time they'll realize quickly that they are no longer alone... FULL NAVIGATION. locations ⯅ statuses ⯅ ic profiles ⯅ ic rulebook ⯅ thot report ⯅ audiences gift shop ⯅ murder proposals ⯅ private conversations ⯅ weekly curfew

Comments

[yaaaasss]

All kinds of progress, boo!

[Polly looks stoked.]

So, like. Now that you guys have powered up? Your exorcism protection is going to do exactly what you want it to. If you protect the person who got possessed, they're not gonna get swallowed up by the summoning circle, but that demon is still going to get super dead, or uh, super exorcised, as long as whoever's doing it doesn't let them go by mistake.

Before, it was just going to, you know, not put them into that circle at all, to give you guys more time to find a way to get the demon outta there without killing the host.

[hegemonstrous]

Ah! What excellent news! Thank you, Polly. That’s very helpful.

[yaaaasss]

I've got even better news for you guys, too. Have you checked out the new rule in your rulebook? The thing about sharing a common goal?

[hegemonstrous]

Oh! Yes! Did that mean something specific?

[She just thought that meant the real cockblock was the friends they made.]

[yaaaasss]

If you guys all pick the same person, and it's whoever was possessed? You'll fuck the demon right out of them, sexy exorcism style.

It's a sexorcism!

[hegemonstrous]

I.

[Just going to. Consider this for a moment.]

I see! Well, then!

[yaaaasss]

Yeah!

Fuck those demons up for me, okay?

[is this her petty revenge for the demons killing her instead of fucking her?







PROBABLY.]

[hegemonstrous]

Gladly. This is quite excellent news. Thank you, Polly.

[yaaaasss]

You're welcome! Just, uh, if you go the sexorcism route? Don't tell anyone. And I mean anyone, no matter how bad it looks or if it doesn't look like it worked, okay?

It's gonna work, no matter what, but it might not look like it did at first. Maybe. Just be smart about it.

[hegemonstrous]

Understood. I assume I shouldn’t even tell anyone about the existence of this?

And - is it the case that we can’t choose someone for the sexorcism if one of us three chose that person last week?

[yaaaasss]

Yeah, just to be safe. You guys can maaaajorly screw up the demons' days with this, you know? This is the last thing we want to get out there.

[At the next question, Polly looks thoughtful.]

Weeeeell, yes and no. A sexorcism is a different thing, so if you guys gangbang a demon, you're good. But if it turns out it's not a demon? The two types of protection they didn't get last week will take effect, but the type they already got won't. You dig?