CATFISH: KANESAN

[fullthottle]

CATFISH On Monday afternoon, Izuminokami's clamshell will ping! from wherever he has it. Should he pick it up to see what all the fuss is about, he will realize that his RULEBOOK app has updated to version 2.0. Opening the app will reveal that there has been an addendum to the rules... but one that seems meant exclusively for him. No other survivor will be able to see these additions. They read as such: 1. Each week, you will be given A TASK by your guides. 2. The specifics of this task will VARY FROM WEEK TO WEEK, and there's no guarantee that any two tasks will be the same. 3. You MUST COMPLETE THIS TASK BEFORE THE DAY OF THE TRIAL, regardless of what it entails. 4. You may PRIVATELY CONFIRM YOUR ROLE if asked, but you may not OFFER THE INFORMATION FREELY to others. A notification will arrive the moment he has finished reading through the update. Its contents are no less confusing. GOOD 🌞 MORNING, CATFISH! 🐟 💋 YOU'RE ON THE 🎣 HOOK TO SEA 🌊 🏖️ AND BE SEEN! 👀 👀 👀 BUT DON'T WORRY 😉😚 YOU WON'T BE A 🐠 FISH OUT OF WATER FOR 2️⃣ LONG 💦💧💧 TAKE A 🔥HOT🔥 PIC 📷 WITH YOUR BEST POUT 💋💋 BC WE'LL SEE U REEL 🎣 SOON ♥️👀♥️ Other things that are weird? The fact that the moment he opens a door and walk through it, he will find himself falling face first an entirely new location. Particularly, one that doesn't seem to fit into any part of the hotel, and absolutely not one that they meant to go through. As he regains his bearings and looks at his surroundings, he'll realize that the door he walked through is no longer there. It seems like he has only one choice, and that's to walk forward until he reaches his destination. It is there that he will find a familiar face... FULL NAVIGATION. locations ⯅ statuses ⯅ ic profiles ⯅ ic rulebook ⯅ thot report gift shop ⯅ murder proposals ⯅ private conversations ⯅ weekly curfew

Comments

[namelessfighter]

[ he’s got dreams

but he’ll wave that off ]

It’s not your fault. It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out, anyway, since we were given those books.

[notaquaman]

[...]

You mean the...how to have sex books?

[namelessfighter]

Yep. Whoever brought us here was obviously expecting something like this to happen, so I've been reading it so I won't be caught unprepared.

[notaquaman]

You don't know how to have sex.

[So it's not just that he's a virgin, but, like, a virgin that has no fucking idea what to do with his cock. A stupid smile starts to spread over his face. He can't help himself.]

You poor bastard. How have you been living?

[namelessfighter]

Why would I? It's got nothing to do with battle. It's not a subject that's ever come up in the citadel.

[ a sword's got priorities, nathan. ]

[notaquaman]

Why would--because it's the best thing a man's got going for him! Even a monk's got to learn to control his cock! Don't tell me you can't get it up?

[Because he has a feeling that if that were the case, he wouldn't be here.]

[namelessfighter]

[ nathan is just gonna get a blank look ]

Sex isn’t something a sword needs to know. It's never come up, before this.

[notaquaman]

You should be ashamed of yourself. Think of the little sword in your trousers!

[namelessfighter]

[ ?????? ]

No one keeps a sword in their pants - not even a tantou.

[ that sound you hear the innuendo whooshing right over his head ]

[notaquaman]

[Way too loudly:]

I'm talking about your cock!

[namelessfighter]

[ ... ]

My what?

[ THE BOOK DIDN'T COVER SLANG ]

[notaquaman]

[How else does one respond to this? Nathan emphatically gestures at his own crotch.]

[namelessfighter]

...I don't see why it would be that important, before Polly summoned those demons.

[notaquaman]

[He throws up his hands.]

You'd understand the deep cutting reach of your negligence if you just put your hand down there and gave yourself a well-deserved wank!

[namelessfighter]

[ what is a wank. ]

...Shouldn’t you be more worried about people dying than what I do or don’t do with this body?

[ you’ve got such skewed priorities, dude!! and he’s only had this body a few years, let him live!! ]

[notaquaman]

I am worried about people dying! That's the whole point, man! The fate of everyone here depends on where you stick the sword you have between your legs!

[Nathan lets out a breath, cursing.]

Has reality settled in enough for you, yet?

[namelessfighter]

[ he really hates how nathan keeps saying things like that :/ ]

Of course. I don't plan on breaking anytime soon, so I'll do what I have to do. You can trust me with that.