fullthottle | TL;CR MEME

commander!!

Kanesan!!

Honesty, one of my big regrets of this game isn't threading with you enough before you rudely died, because I enjoyed Kanesan and their CR so much. Anyway, while he was alive she mainly just found him cute? Like, he is a very cute person. He calls her commander and admires her and wants her approval, which she found cute. But not necessarily in a condescending way - she didn't doubt that he's a talented warrior who could earn her respect and become second in command. He was just sweet and refreshing to interact with and made her feel at ease. She came to him first for sex because she actually felt fairly uncomfortable approaching someone? Control is a really, really big thing for her, and it's been an aspect of all of her thotty interactions here that she's unwilling to be with someone where she won't feel in control. Needing to bang someone to save her life wasn't really an ideal, in control feeling for her and also she was relatively inexperienced. But she knew he would be kind and respectful and put her at ease, plus he's handsome. She didn't approach him so much after that because he was actually so nice about it that she was a little worried he felt obligated. Not in a particularly bad way, but just that if she had other options she should pursue them instead of continuing to top this nice boy.

After he died her feelings changed? When Dimitri was killed, she was upset but she was also extremely relieved. Like Dimitri is his own whole thing, but he was the young school age Dimitri who she had really fond and sad feelings towards. Him becoming a demon in thot parallels how things happened in her real life, where that Dimitri she was fairly fond of changed and became unrecognizable, and she didn't want to go through that happening again. So she was really relieved and grateful that someone had - I think in a few pcs she referred to it as "putting him down" like he was her childhood dog that went rabid. It's nasty but that's how she sees it!

Then she found out it was Kanesan, and moreover, he'd kept that fairly quiet! He went around telling her he wanted to be her second in command and prove himself, but when he had this role that let him hunt a demon, he took it very seriously and just went and did it. And then when he was killed he left them secret messages! It made her realize that maybe she had been underestimating him a little, and he wasn't just a cute sword boy who called her Commander in bed but actually someone worthy of her respect.

She's really sad to leave him behind - even though it's been a few weeks, she has a lot of fond feelings towards him.

😔

God.

Well, what happened didn't really impact her feelings towards him. She liked him! Another very good sword boy who was sweet and handsome and always very respectful towards her. Even though she topped him a lot, he honestly made her feel comfortable which is pretty important to her. He was kind to people and brave and just a lovable guy.

That didn't really factor into her decisions around him as a demon because frankly when it came to the demons she was pretty ruthless and unsentimental! If they didn't have a way to save him without killing him, she would have favored killing him, because in her opinion it's better to die than exist as a demon for even a moment longer than you have to. Her intense drive to pull off the sexorcism was much more about her own ego than wanting to save anyone - she even basically told Polly as much. Oops!

She does feel very bad about what happened but...honestly only because it was a mistake. There's a reality where she sacrificed him on purpose as a calculation to make the trial more likely to catch a demon, and if she'd done that she would have felt fully justified. But she'll readily admit that wasn't what happened; it was just a mistake and because of that, because his death didn't have a purpose and was just careless, she feels terrible.

edie!!!!

WWX!

Honestly, she found him incredibly refreshing and the person here she could most easily get along with. He has a vibe kind of like her canon friends - goofy and a handful, but able to get serious when the situation calls for it, and battle hardened. There's really nothing in his backstory that can phase her; the part of him where he's used to a lot of bad shit is part of why she likes him. She always knew he'd be there, a sweet goofy gremlin who is deep down as desensitized and ruthless as she is. The only other people like that here were immortals, and...she has some bad feelings about immortals! But someone who can kill or sacrifice others when the situation calls for it is good to her.

She also really grew to like him after his memshare, since it hit a lot of buttons for her. It was really triggering to her given her own shit, but learning he'd done all of that by choice to save his sibling turned her feelings into a lot of admiration. She hates how helpless she was during that time of her life and how she couldn't save any of her siblings, so it made her think highly of him.

All of this is why it really threw her and made her angry when he was pro releasing demons. She knows that's because he's a demon hunter and thinks his world can handle it, but the truth is, Edelgard also thought her world could handle it if they released demons! She just thought the balance of choices here was like. Release demons, creating a situation where we probably beat them, but there's probably a lot of death and a risk we fail and there's a lot more death, or save the lives of twenty people. That choice is just very obvious to her. If she was in a battle, she'd make that sacrifice of twenty people in a heartbeat, even if she had friends among them. She expected a lot of people here to be too soft to see that, since they hadn't experienced war like she has, but she expected him to understand and was disappointed to be wrong.

He didn't actually hurt her feelings at trial. What happened is, when she came to him the night before, she was planning to try to argue her case. Instead, he told her what he knew about the ruins, and she went "Oh! that makes a lot more sense. It's WWX so I trust that and it sounds logical to me." But when she saw the video itself, she thought the interpretation that demons could already escape was wishful thinking, and she was disappointed in herself for having believed him and "fallen for it". She knows he wasn't trying to trick her, but she still felt tricked into believing there wasn't a hard choice. The days before the final trial, she was very indecisive between "I should trust people here and try to work with them" and "I should trust no one and kill the people who are most likely to be a problem." She fell on the side of trust partially because of WWX and was worried she had made a big mistake.

But he didn't release demons so that's in the past! She still likes him, but is kind of extremely aware that they were a few bad decisions (or not getting the dead's letters) from throwing hands, so no longer sees him as someone she thinks shares her values/world view.