BREAK-IN: Taako & Dick

[fullthottle]

Comments

[chaoticlootral]

Don't take all the loot. You have to split any loot you find, got it?

[Taako is a scientist, but not a leg scientist, so I guess probably not. Leaving . . . the leg on the floor. Going over to the medical couch, and you know what.

Just ripping the cloth off. Let's just get this over with.]

[unpredicktable]

Sure, but the only "loot" we've got right now is a leg. You can keep it if you want.

[ since taako's taking care of the clearly dead body in the room (SIGHS) dick's going to go over to the counter nearby, immediately trying to open the drawers and cabinets to see what's inside. ]

[fullthottle]

[Ripping the cloth off the medical couch disturbs a clipboard in the process, which falls to the floor. Beneath it, there is... not a body, or at least not a full one. It's a woman's torso.

When Dick starts opening drawers and cabinets, he'll find plenty of medical supplies! Score. Live your first aid dreams, Dick. He'll find bandages, antibiotics, pain killers, suture kits, scalpels...

Oh, and an arm falls out of a cabinet. It's the left one. I forgot to tell you the leg is a right leg.]

[chaoticlootral]

This is the worst puzzle I've ever seen in my life!

[There's. There's a tinge of mania to his voice as he uncovers THE FUCKING TORSO. It's fine. Everything is fine. Just bending to get that friggin' cliipboard he sent rocketing off, to read that.]

[unpredicktable]

Yeah, I never thought any place could make me miss the Riddler.

[ this is an agreement. why was there an arm in this cabinet. god. dick nudges it aside with his foot to start just. separating some medical loot because he's taking taako seriously. "dick, leave some for later when this room opens" eh. god. fine. he's taking a few of everything though ]

What's on the clipboard?

[ also, once dick is done with his. loot preparation adventures, of which he puts all of his immediately in his belt and leaves taako in a neat pile (HOW DOES IT FIT), he moves on to the faucet to go check that ]

[fullthottle]

[The clipboard says:]

PATIENT NAME: M█████
GENDER: FEMALE
CAUSE OF DEATH: DISMEMBERMENT
NOTES: LIMBS MUST BE REATTACHED WITH SUTURE KIT IN ORDER TO PROCEED.

[After Dick finishes putting things in his Belt of Holding, apparently, he can investigate the faucet! It is attached to a sink.

And because he'd have to be blind to look at the faucet and miss this: there's a woman's head in the sink.]

[chaoticlootral]

This is. The. Worst. Fucking. Puzzle.

[Just. Inspecting the clipboard to see if there's anything else on it. Written on the other side of the paper or on the board itself, before he chucks it to the side.]

We have to suture the limbs back together. Enjoy that, pal, because I'm not helping.

[unpredicktable]

[ ... dick will gingerly lift the head out of the sink to go place it over near the body, as well as grabbing both limbs they've found so far and just. making a pile to start with. ]

... I prefer my sutures be done on living bodies if at all, but fine. Not as bad as trying to put Polly's body back together by hand. Help me find the rest of her.

[ that said, dick goes back to see if there is anything... under the sink. also. what happens if he turns on the faucet. is it blood. please just be water. ]

[fullthottle]

[There's nothing else on the clipboard! Chuck away, Taako.

Dick won't find anything underneath the sink, and when he turns on the faucet... well, good news, it isn't red liquid.

It's some sort of black goo.]

[chaoticlootral]

Whoever had this idea to go exploring is a real dumbass and should feel terrible.

[IT WAS YOU, TAAKO.

Well, whatever. Since there's nothing under the sink, have all the other cabinets been checked? Is there that space on top of the cabinets between them and the ceiling? If Taako climbs up on the counter, can he see up there.]

[unpredicktable]

It was yours.

[ RUTHLESSLY

also dick is wearing gloves so. if he touches the goo. what's it doooo. feel like. does it have a distinct smell. we can look under the couch for a limb after ]

[fullthottle]

[Taako can see up there... but it's clean and empty of limbs! There is another door in here, though, and from his vantage point he can see that there's something by it.

Dick will find that the goo doesn't seem to do anything except... be goo? It flows out of the faucet like goo do? It's viscous but still runs easily enough.

It also smells like blood.]

[chaoticlootral]

Don't be rude.

[While Dick is playing in goo, Taako will hop off the counter and go over to the other door then to see what's by it. Probably a limb? I both hope it is and isn't a limb.]

[unpredicktable]

Just keeping it honest. [ dick has made a mistake and has to wipe black goo off on the sink once he turns that faucet off, but again it's gloves so it's Fine. ] Black goo smells like blood. Think we're dealing with demon gunk, or super demon gunk?

[ that said, he is going to go check with taako on that door just in case something pops up to kill them both. god, let it be a bomb. ]

[fullthottle]

[It's a limb! There's a left leg propped against the door. Absolutely wipe your gross gooey hand off though, Dick, ew.]

[chaoticlootral]

Super demon gunk, fo' sure.

[OH HEY. Success.]

Leg!

[Grabbing it to throw on the pile. Of limbs. God this is the worst.]

Magnus has a thing about arms, y'know. Maybe I should channel him, see if I can use it to find that last one.

[Closing his eyes, trying to imagine himself as a big, buff most-straight guy. He has roleplayed this before, actually. His name was Tuff Greg. That's a story for another time, but . . . ]

Do you think it's in the wall behind the sink?

[unpredicktable]

There have been way too many people in this place with arms for me to question that.

[ Carlos ... also, somewhere, an NPC in an alternate universe is having flashbacks because of the name tuff greg. as it is, dick's just trying to see what else was in that door that. that wasn't a leg. ]

Uh. You want to break the wall down? Maybe we should try under the couch first.

[ oh right LOOKS AT THE CEILING no skin can get me now ]

[fullthottle]

[The ceiling caves in, having been waiting for Dick and Dick alone to look at it--

No. The ceiling is fine. Anyway, they can definitely try to break the wall down if they want? Or they can look under the couch.]

[chaoticlootral]

Did we not look under the couch? Fuck.

[Okay, just. Getting down on his knees and looking under the FUCKING COUCH god.]

[unpredicktable]

We got a little distracted by the dead body.

[ so I'm guessing the?? closet was empty otherwise so dick is gonna do a quick walksies around the clinic to see if there's anything else they are missing ]

[fullthottle]

[Maybe it's a closet! Maybe it isn't. That door is also locked, so it remains a mystery.

Dick won't see anything that's immediately apparent in his walksies around, either.

Taako, in checking under the couch, won't find anything there... but while he's on the ground, he'll spot a right arm underneath the stool.]

[chaoticlootral]

Arm! N'arm! N'arm. God, that joke is so dated.

[Reaching for it! Adding it to the pile.]

Dick, I believe it's, uh, your turn. Get to suturing.

[unpredicktable]

Right. FYI, if this somehow turns her into a zombie, we are not telling anyone. Ever. [ he sighs and takes out a suture kit

from where he stored it after looting

and goes to work on their beautiful M------ body, starting off with the limbs so he doesn't have the head staring at him the whole time. he is methodical and able to do this because i hate him. kill him off. ]

Try and see if we missed anything while I do this? Now that we're limb free.

[fullthottle]

[I'm concerned that if I jokingly kill Dick in metatext you'll immediately yell that there are no takebacks, so no, Dick is fine. He can suture on, even if he's a coward for not doing the head first.

Which leaves Taako free to do literally whatever he wants while he makes Dick do the gross work!]

[chaoticlootral]

[ Taako then kills Dick instantly by snapping his neck. But he fails the strength roll so badly that nothing happens.

But apart from that he just sighs dramatically and goes back the huge ordeal of checking everything once over again - cabinets, in between the couch cushions, the sink and its goo. Also he collects his medical supply loot while he’s here. ]